There’s a Time and a Place

There’s a time and a place.

But I am somewhere in between the two. Never really fitting where I am, but stuck at the acknowledgement that things could somehow be different. That they SHOULD somehow be different.

I didn’t think my mid to late 20s would look like the absolute crazy show it has, yet I digress. There’s really no argument to be had. Life will be the way it is.

I will be turning 28 this year and while I know I still have plenty of time, I do find it important to talk about the vast changes that take place in such small intervals of time. It feels like just yesterday I was 16 and everyone told me I had plenty of time to figure out where I was going and what I was doing. This has been true but oh so wrong. I promise I blinked once and I was turning 21…then 25…now 28 and soon to be 30.

During all of these intervals and milestones – the moments between even- there have been so many accomplishments and even more failures. That’s lesson one I learned. Life is more about losing and learning what to do with that loss rather than about winning and doing everything the way it was always assumed it should/would be completed. I think this concept was scary for me when I was younger and probably is for most people. I also believe it’s more normal than people would like to admit. The old days have passed. You know- the ones our grandparents talked about with the nuclear family and traditional dynamics that came with it. Married by early 20s and kids by mid 20s is looking more like married by early 30s and kids shortly thereafter. And this is okay! It is also okay if your life sounds nothing like either of these options. The more we continue to normalize individual lifestyles, the more we can have honest conversations about the bigger and probably more scary topics of life. I wish someone had been so honest to tell me that while I had “plenty of time”, I would also continue to have less and less. And that it’s important to understand this idea of vast changes in small intervals of time.

All of this just to say that I am turning 30 in the next couple of years, and while I may not be where I feel I should be (or at least 16 year old me thought I would be), I can also look back and say I am not in the places I feared the most either. I am definitely somewhere in between, but maybe that’s good because I still have so much to learn and so many experiences. I hope to be someone in this life who normalizes individual lifestyles and can reassure you all that it’s truly going to be okay. I promise. 🙂

Positive vibes. ❤

BLM- Strong Post Alert

In light of recent events, I wanted to write a post. One with meaning and one with such savage education to back it up that no one could argue. I wanted something that could bring everyone to the same realizations I have had the past couple weeks. I wanted a writing so straight forward that there would be no questioning, no further wandering, no persecution for beliefs and definitely no retaliation. The thing about this, though, is that as far as I can educate myself, so can others. As far as I can believe that I have so much to learn and so many things I CAN’T learn…others can realize this as well! They have to want to know this though. They have to want this education. They have to want to know about their white privilege and learn about other cultures. They have to want to wrap their minds around both recent happenings and ones in the past. They have to want to see the pattern that authority has continually presented. A pattern of racism and inequality. A pattern that is so normalized that depending on where you live and what you see daily, you may not even believe exists. I will not under any circumstances say that it’s “totally fine” if you don’t see it happening and therefor stay quiet. (Though there is a time, place and different ways to contribute to this entire situation) You have fingers to type, a voice to speak, you have resources to educate yourself furthermore than you may have the prior day. I will say, however, that it is tragic. Not even for other cultures, other ethnicities, and other races, but for yourself. It’s tragic that you don’t choose to educate yourself.

I do also, in some aspects, see how there are extremists on both sides of this matter. I, personally, do not agree with violence for violence. However, I do not have a right to tell another human being to not be angry. To not feel for those of their own. It is not my right and it never will be. So I want to say I have the utmost respect for the feelings and the raw emotions that come with this matter. I am not naive enough to think I have enough knowledge and life experience to hardly BEGIN understanding the years and years of oppression. Of Racism. Of cultural discrimination. And I apologize for not even taking the time until recently to understand.

This is all I have to say on this matter for now, as I am still trying to build my own education on this matter.

Until next time,

Positive Vibes. ❤

Pain

A lot of times we think that if we are in pain then something HAS to be wrong. I am also guilty of this, but pain isn’t always wrong. Are there very important lines to this? YES! If you ever feel hopeless then definitely reach out to someone. I, however, will be the last one to ever say that pain is bad. I am guilty of those tear-drowning nights. The ones where your pillow is our best friend and you feel like nothing. It’s pain. I have good news though! Emotional pain is actually a very great sign of growth. I know sometimes it can feel like there will never be an end. It can feel like things will never get better, but try to think of it like this: All great things must outgrow themselves. Even as kids we have growing pains, teeth fall out for new ones to grow in, our hair needs cut to be healthy and bright, we shave our faces or legs in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. To stay groomed and up to date. While all of these might not apply to everyone, I think we all get the point here 🙂 growth can be painful, but in the end we always get exactly what we need. So embrace it. Find the good in the pain and learn from the bad. Start somewhere easy and work your way up to where you need to be. It’s scary at first. I know, but try and really get a grasp on your emotions and figure them out. Quit thinking about anyone/anything else. Even if you ever wanted to figure out someone/something else, you’d have to understand yourself first.

That’s it for my late night thoughts!

Positive vibes ❤

Explanations

Everything we touch started somewhere. Yes I know. How basic of myself to start a post out like this. I understand that the statement is common knowledge. But throughout a lot of my current posts, I use a lot of nature pictures to start my blog posts and solidify my thoughts. I use nature to help connect with my audiences (whoever you may be reading this right now). The reason for this, though, is because I know that we all have connections to nature. Whether you enjoy sitting in the sun and just bathing in the rays until you feel a light burn or you enjoy the sound of waves pushing each other back and forth when you sit by a lake. Maybe you even just enjoy a cup of coffee as the sun comes up and you can hear the birds chirping outside.

– taken by me. 🙂

My posts aren’t meant to go in one ear and out the other, they are meant for people to feel and connect with. I mean that in the same way as when you lay down in grass and you can smell the flowers a foot away from you even with your eyes closed. I mean that in the same way as the dirt on the bottom of your car floor that lets you know you’ve been somewhere recently. Somewhere messy, yet organized enough that you know you gained something from just existing in whatever that moment was. We build ourselves over and over.

Life is messy. Go walk in a park after it has rained for 15 minutes. Theres mud everywhere. There’s bugs and animals trying to adjust to whatever damage or changes that can come from even 15 minutes of a downpour. But nature exists purely on its own. No questions asked. No underlining factors. no explanations needed. And when is the last time you took that time for yourself? When is the last time you just existed. No filters. No questions. Try it. That is the reason most of my pictures will be nature oriented. That is the reason I hope others can connect with my posts. Just keep your eyes open for the possibility even 🙂

Perspective is Everything

• 

These two photos are at the same exact place, but two different views. Both are beautiful in two completely separate ways. I feel as though a lot of times in life we find it easy to compare and while this can be a very good thing, it can also be the exact idea that destroys us inside.

Some people may say that one picture looks more stormy than the other. One may be more cluttered. One may contain more depth. But again, both pictures are at the same place and both can tell a VERY different story.

I think often times more than less we set our selves up for what we want to see in front of us. We may want to grieve over a thought or a feeling we have to let go. One that makes us feel stormy. Or we may want to clutter our minds with the views in front of us.  With Experience. With Knowledge. Opportunity.

Moral of my post, perspective is everything. If we want to see change. If we want to see openness or knowledge, we have to set ourselves up for that. We can’t continually keep looking in the wrong places if we want to see the RIGHT things. Change your perspectives. If you want different outcomes then place your energy in new places. In new opportunities. Change your point of view. Change the direction you point your camera in life and don’t stop.

You may find a perspective that feels comfortable. Maybe that could be perfect for you, but make sure you are continually building. Make sure you change the perspective every one in a while. You WILL see growth. You will see opportunity and MAYBE you will even find the very thing you’ve been looking for.

These are just my 5am thoughts as I climb into bed. More to come ❤

Last Summer

And what if touching you is intoxicating.

The kind of intoxicating that starts at the bottom of the glass and works it’s way to the top.

Chilled and sharp around the edges.

And setting you down is anything but easy. Because your taste is still in my mouth-down the back of my throat and into my chest.

~7/22/19

It is in the least for me to say a lot has changed since the last time I have posted here on this blog. That being said there may be a few updates. First update: I have a dog now. Her name is Amelia Rose and I love her to death. She is a year and a half old and I wouldn’t replace her for anything in this world. I am now single and happily single at that 🙂 Time to see where blogging takes me again! Positive Vibes ❤

A Rock

Maybe love was never actually a positive term

Maybe more of an idea

Maybe love is the term people used at one time to explain the unexplainable

The things we did or saw regardless of other things around us

Maybe one day a long time ago, someone found a rock for the first time and called that love as well

And then one day someone got their heart broken

And still kept those feelings for the person

It was unexplainable. It had no limits

And they called it love

And it’s a forever consuming idea that that’s what love is. Because we found names for every other unexplainable word

Except for this thing called love

Live.

And it’s true

You’re the one who destroyed me

Sure you put me back together too

Sure you love me

But I’m the rose you decided to pick

And you put me under artificial sunlight

And hid other flowers in the other rooms

Because I wasn’t enough.

And I have to know I’m enough. I have to remember what that’s like

And you can’t have me when it’s all finished either

Because I’ll have to kill that side of me

The corner of myself where you lived. Intertwined into who I am

I have to kill it

You have to be gone.

So that I can live.

Skyline

And if I was a highway skyline at sunset

You’d be the wall of clouds.

The one falling in on the light.

Carrying away the bright colors and bringing in the shades of grey

Settling into my hope for the sunrise to come in the morning.

Destroying the optimism.

And ripping apart the view.